I love my Emma very, very, very, very, very, very… much. When I threatened Emma (see May 29th post below) we had just had a very long discussion that I tried to cut short several times because we were already running late for the bus (we barely made it). You see, my sweet Miss Daisie has a tendency to be vaguely unhappy towards everything. It’s a talent that she always has possessed. Anyone who knew her from infancy understands that she came screaming into this world and she’s made her voice heard ever since.
Moreover, it’s a talent that she’s proud of, and if I have to be completely honest, I’m proud of it too. I would never have wanted a YesGirl as a daughter. I think I deserve a worthy adversary, someone who can put her confused,
never-been-a-mother-of-an-eight-year-old, and slightly controlling mom into place.
As for my harsh comment, I know I need to tone it down. I tend to use cartoon violence expressions with my children when I get overly frustrated. I don’t yell my threats; they’re said in a soft, exasperated tone. For example, after 10 or so requests, I’ll cheerfully explain to my boy, “Taran you either need to get those shoes on or I’m gonna cut your feet off.” It’s a way for me to vent. My children ignore it as easily as they ignore calls to clear their dinner plates. Or, in Emma’s case, they dispute it. Like when I threatened to leave Enoch at Target so some other mother could buy him. Emma quickly jumped in, “Moommm, you never would leave us!” Yes. She is worthy of her mother.
5?
As for the “Martin Baby #5,” I have outed myself on the possibility of another baby. The truth was never very secret.
For me, there doesn’t seem to be a reason of waiting the traditional three months before telling. I make a horrible pregnant person. I’m sick as soon I know I’m pregnant. I’m also exhausted (Did I ever tell you about the time I was pregnant and I fell asleep on a park bench while watching my young children play? Did I ever tell you I did it twice?). I look terrible. People either need to know I’m gestating or they start to think I’m dieing.
Another reason we’ve never waited to tell, is that I get pregnant VERY quickly. I only need to be off contraceptives for a few short hours and then BAM! Baby. Once, even that was too long. With Enoch, we learned that he was conceived a few days before my IUD was removed.
So, to me, it only seems fair that I alert people that I’m going to be out of commission for a few (9-18) months.
But things aren’t working as they always have. I’ve been IUD free since February and still no baby. Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to declare that the spirit is willing without feeling that the flesh is weak. But I have begun to wonder why. What’s coming next?