Thursday, November 20, 2008

Fear and Faith

[This just goes to show that General Conference can help in even the small crisis of life.*]

The horrible truth is I have developed spider veins and varicose veins. I don’t know how this could have happened to a person as good and kind as me. I’ve never even had a sign of them in my last 4 pregnancies. Nasty morning sickness in the beginning and massive swelling at the end is my due for bringing a baby into the world. Not to mention stretch marks, weight gain, hormone fluctuations... But ugly purple and blue veins belong to other well meaning and long suffering women. I do not DESERVE this!

While it’s true that I’ll never be a contender on top model, at least everything from the knees down looked pretty good. Not any more, now even that foot and a half on my body will need to be hidden or altered (How? I don’t know, stop shaving? *shutter*).

I’m just so afraid that they won’t go away after baby is born. I’m afraid that they’ll spread in the next three months. I afraid that they’ll be joined by their evil friends stretch marks and cellulite. I’m afraid that my body is deteriorating at a faster rate than it can repair and I won’t have the money or savoir faire to fix it. I’m afraid that this is the beginning of the end!

Then, while trying to slow the clock and reverse gravity, I read this at the gym: “Jesus is the Christ. He is resurrected. He is our Savior and Redeemer. All will be made well when He comes again. This is His holy work. Through the Prophet Joseph Smith, His priesthood was restored upon the earth and His prophet today is President Thomas S. Monson. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.* ” Did you get that? “All will be made well when He comes again.” So all I need is a little faith and patience and in time (I’m assuming a LONG time) I’ll have my legs back. And just maybe by that time I’ll have grown up enough to know life is about more than trying to look like a movie star. Let’s have faith.

*Neil L. Andersen, “You Know Enough,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 13–14.

1 comment:

The Churn Mistress said...

If the "very gross" veins don't go away after pregnancy. You can always go get them zapped. If you say the right things insurance will even pay for it! In the mean time ask your doctor for prescription strength support hose. They are a PAIN to put on but your legs will thank you.
Have fun!